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「Cast no dirt in the well that gives you water. (立つ鳥跡を濁さず)」

Barnaby: With Virgil's ambitions crushed, Sternbild was in peace once again. It was then when the new unit Ryan & Barnaby with Tiger suddenly popped up into existence. Due to Ryan's circumstances it soon vanished like a phantom once more, but behind the scenes a certain project was quietly put together. As it turned out, it caused an unexpected amount of drama.


Bison: Never thought they'd ask me of all people... I mean-

Ryan: Yo, pops! Sure you don't need a bathroom break?

Bison: Huh? Ah, no, I went a few minutes ago... Sure makes one feel nervous, right, Kotetsu? Ahaha.

Kotetsu: Uh, no, maybe... I, uh, don't really-

Bison: Just kidding, hahaha! Ya know, I'm not actually that nervous either. Been feeling kinda relaxed lately. I know I don't look like it, but I think the acting gigs are pretty okay.

Kotetsu: Ahaha, I see... good for you.

Bison: Hell, when I head about Blue Rose's drama part and Dragon Kid's acting debut a part of me was all 'they should've casted me first'!

Kotetsu: O-Oh really?

Bison: I deserve the spotlight more, you know. You think so too, don't you, Barnaby?

Barnaby: Uh, um, I suppose.

Bison: Hey, Kotetsu. Do you know when the producer is supposed to be coming?

Kotetsu: Um, uh... Damn Agnes is late.

Bison: Yeah, I think I need another bathroom break.

Kotetsu: Just how many breaks does one need...? You know, he kinda looks scared stiff to me.

Ryan: Haha, true. Well, that's his power, I guess.   

Barnaby: Save your jokes.

Kotetsu: Yeah! You know what they say: a leaving bird does not foul its nest.

Ryan: Ah, who cares. Look, he's all excited.

Kotetsu: And it was you in the first place who-

BR: Hey, can somebody explain what's going on here? Rock Bison's been all weird since morning. Did something happen after yesterday's farewell party?   

Ryan: It wasn't a farewell party. Yesterday was my goddamn welcome party.  

BR: No, not really. And why are you still here, anyway?

Ryan: 'Cuz I'm telling you yesterday was my welcome party. Got it?

BR: Whatever. Either way, you're not gonna stick around for long.   

Ryan: Don't be such a meany, girl. My farewell party will come another day - more like next week - and it'll be a blast. A 'dodoooon' kind of blast!

BR: Right now, I don't care.

FE: Sooo, what're you people talking about?

DK: Is Rock Bison really shooting a movie?!

OC: I heard it's a leading part... Is he going to be okay?

WT: Nah, it's totally not like that! It's, like, ya know...  

Ryan: Attention, folks! Clean out your ears and let me explain it to you!

WT: No thanks! If we let you talk stuff would just get messy again!

Ryan: You wanna start shit? Since when do I make anything messy?

WT: You do!  

BR: Nobody cares! Just somebody tell me what's going on!

Barnaby: Well, after the last incident Ryan has, oddly enough, gotten a boost of popularity.  

Ryan: What the? Hold on, here. What was that 'oddly enough' part for? It was totally deserved, no?   

WT: Just shut the hell up already!

Barnaby: So, although belatedly, there came the offer to make a movie starring the unit 'Ryan & Barnaby with Tiger'.   

FE: Oh, I see. Neat, isn't it?

WT: Well, uh... Anyway, we're supposed to, like, have a meeting with Agnes today.

BR: Wait, I still don't understand a thing here?

DK: What does it have to do with Rock Bison?

WT: It's complicated. Basically, this guy said he's not doing it.

Ryan: Correct! Sorry, but I refuse to do things like films and stuff.

FE: Oh. Why not? You have the bod for it.

Ryan: Yep, and my acting's flawless, too.

BR: Talk about arrogant.

Ryan: A movie with me in it is guaranteed to be a hit. It'd net me a movie offer or two and probably a whole series. And that's the thing: sadly, I'd depart Sternbild soon after the curtain-fall, so where would it leave these poor two extras?  

WT: We'll manage, thanks.

Barnaby: We're extras now?  

Ryan: And so I was lost in my anguished thoughts, but then he came along. I gave him a good push and voila!

Ryan: 'Rock Bison. There's still you. Take my role in my stead!' Or something like that.

WT: Yeah, and it was during the yesterday's afterparty and you were wasted. What a joke.  

Ryan: Ahahaha, and it really was a joke! He swallowed it hook, line and sinker!

WT: He really believed you! He's all hopeful now!

Ryan: Yep. Even I'm kinda disgusted.

WT: Gah! For chrissakes!  

DK: ...I didn't know Ryan was like this.

OC: He's a rather difficult type, I guess.

WT: ...That said, it all happened at the afterparty. Don't really remember much from there.

BR: Huh, I see. That explains how weirdly excited he is.

FE: Guess he just got some things wrong.

WT: He, uh, kinda laughed at the idea at first. 'I've got no talent for it' and stuff. It all struck me as funny, so I kept spurring him on and, um...

BR: But nothing's set in stone yet, right?

Ryan: Well, yeah.

SH: Does Ms. Agnes know?   

OC: What, you've been here the whole time?

SH: Well, yes.     

WT: We haven't told her anything.

OC: Jokes aside, there's no way something like that would ever get approved.

WT: No kidding. But he's convinced he's got a chance.

FE: He's on cloud nine.

OC: That reminds me, I've heard him mumble something about writing a screenplay.

DK: Yeah! I asked him if he could really write one and he said, 'I've been good at writing since I was a child'. Amazing, right?!

SH: '"Beat" goes my heart, engraving its furious rhythm'. It's wonderful, truly wonderful!

BR: Now that you mention it, he came to me asking to 'recommend him a good acting school'.

WT: Oh, come on! You're kidding, right?

Barnaby: A tad late for school, I would say.

Ryan: Isn't the guy a bit too pure for his bulk? It's usually pretty damn obvious when somebody's joking.

FE: Not for him.

Barnaby: A troubling situation to be sure.

Ryan: 'A troubling situation to be sure', he says! So troubling you'd helped to rope the guy into it! 'Oh, what a great idea' and stuff! And you were pushing your glasses then!

WT: Oh. You did join in. And did that glasses thing, too.

Barnaby: I did not say it like that. And I did not think he would take it seriously, either. After all, it was meant as a joke.

Ryan: Whatever. Either way, you're just as guilty as we are. The Four-Eyed Collaborator!

SH: Well, every man has his humor. To each his own.

FE: I guess.

Ryan: Exactly!

WT: You know, I think you're a bit too 'free', if you know what I mean.

Ryan: Nnn?

OC: I'm sure Bison was secretly overjoyed to hear it.

DK: But it's not a big deal, no? Just let him try. Sounds like fun and I'd watch his movie.

SH: Indeed! Sounds wonderful, don't you think? I'd watch it too. Twice, even!

BR: Count me out.  

SH: Realistically speaking, though, it'd be very hard to pull off. First, he'd need to be told the full truth. I think you owe him a proper apology.

FE: I guess. Preferably soon, so you don't wound him too much.

Ryan: Yeah. You're his pal, right?

WT: Hey, hold on a sec! Haven't you seen how happy he looks? Like hell I'm gonna tell him 'sorry, it was just a joke' now! And we haven't even spoken with Agnes yet, so why-

WT: ...What? What's with those looks?

Bison: A joke?   

WT: Aahhh...? ...Mr. Rock Bison, you're here too?!

Bison: Um. Ahaha, yeah.

BR: Oh yeah, I just remembered I've got a training session now!

DK: M-Me too!

SH: And, ah, it's about time I started my patrol!

OC: A-And your humble servant has some trifles to attend to...

FE: Me too! Well, keep up the good work!

WT: Ack! H-Hey, what's with you guys?!

Bison: Haha, everybody seems very busy.

WT: ....Uuuhhh... About that joke, I'm not saying it's totally impossible, you know? We could try, like, talking to Agnes and, uh... You know, like they say, 'a horse comes from a gourd'?

Bison: Ahahaha! You totally fell for it, didn't you, Kotetsu? I can tell when somebody's joking just fine.

WT: Wha?

Bison: I was onto you all along. You believed my acting?

WT: Huh?! Really?!

Bison: Come on, it's obvious when you think about it. There's no way they'd cast me instead of Ryan. Who the hell would believe that? Yeah, we're both Heroes, but seriously.

Ryan: You said it, pops.

Bison: Yup... when you think about it...it's so obvious...so, so obvious...  

Barnaby: So you are saying you were just pretending?

Bison: Yeah, I was just playing you. Surprised? Surprised, aren't ya?! At the afterparty I figured you'd pull some shady jokes on me, so I pulled a fast one on you! Punk'd!

WT: No way!

Bison: Success!

Barnaby: ...Got a camera with you, perhaps?

WT: Huh? ...Ah, that's how it is! You're the bait!

Bison: Wha? Bait?

Ryan: Let's take a look... where's the camera, dude-

WT: There's one? Where?

Bison: Nonono, there isn't. I think.

Barnaby: You think?

Bison: Yeah, I think!

Ryan: Where's the camera, pops?

Bison: There isn't one, believe me!

Barnaby: Am I supposed to understand that secret identity is no longer an issue?

Bison: It's not like that! It was just my private gag!

WT: Huh?

Bison: Just because you guys got punked doesn't mean it's a candid-camera gag!

WT: What the hell are you getting so mad about?

Ryan: Don't get the fuss. It's normal.

Bison: Maybe, but there are no cameras here today!

Barnaby: I knew it, he is too afraid for his secret identity to-

Bison: Shut up about my identity already! It's none of your business what I choose to do with it!

Agnes: What in blazes are you shouting about?!

Agnes: ...I see. I thought it'd be something big, but it's utterly trivial. Heck, we could try it.

Bison: Wha?

Agnes: Why not? I'll resubmit the design proposal.  

WT: Huh? You serious?

Ryan: Well, what do you know. Good for you, dude.

Barnaby: We shouldn't have worried.

Bison: O-Oh.

Agnes: Rock Bison. You want to do it, don't you?

Bison: I...a little...yes.

Agnes: Glamour isn't the main draw of the Heroes, I'd say, but why not try? You want to be popular, don't you?

Bison: Huh?

Agnes: Personally, I don't think it'd showcase your strong points, though.

Bison: No! Even I can be-

Agnes: Not what I meant. You're an unsung hero of sorts; we've got nobody else like you. Few people can do thankless jobs so naturally. It's rare.  

Bison: Oh?

Agnes: In short, I buy it when you play a stoic.  

Bison: Ms. Agnes...

Agnes: But if really want to try something different, then why not?

Bison: Ahaha.

Agnes: Then it's settled. I'm going to resubmit the original plan with you in the main role.

Bison: N-No! Um, wait-!

WT: What the hell, seriously.

Barnaby: Well, I suppose it worked out fine for now.

Bison: Kotetsu. Barnaby.

WT: Yeah?

Bison: I'm sorry, but I can't participate. I'm so sorry!

WT: Whaa?

Bison: Scales have fallen from my eyes. Ms. Agnes is right. The role of an unsung hero suits me much better.

WT: The hell...?

Bison: It's nothing personal. I'm gonna tell her I refuse!

WT: ...Why did he apologize to us?  

Barnaby: Good question. Heh.  

WT: Heh. Oh well. He looked kinda happy.

Ryan: Since everything's worked out so nicely I guess it's about time for me to go.

WT: You going home too?  

Ryan: Sort of. I mean, I came here with pretty much a single locker worth of luggage.

Barnaby: I thought so.

Ryan: Yep! Riches and fortunes await me beyond the sea. Can't afford to dawdle here for long.

WT: What a peppy guy.

Ryan: Tiger.

WT: What?

Ryan: Take care of this guy. I mean it.

WT: Ryan...

Barnaby: 'This guy'?

Ryan: I don't really know what's going on inside his head, but he's a man of issues. For his partner there's gonna be no end to hardship but, well... Hang on, you two.

Barnaby: 'Issues'?

WT: Mm. I realize that much at least.

Barnaby: Huh?

WT: Good luck to you too, Ryan.  

Ryan: Oh no, I'm done with the sad and solemn talks! Got it, Wild Tiger?  

WT: Haha, I guess. Golden Ryan.

Ryan: Hmph. Farewell, Jr.

Barnaby: Tch.

Ryan: Well, I don't think we're ever gonna meet again, but be good to each other. Bye!

WT: ...He's annoying, but I guess he might be an okay guy after all.

Barnaby: The farewell party is next week; how will he present himself then, I wonder. Don't really care, though.


Agnes: You sure, people? It's almost a farce, really...

FE: It's perfect! Thank you!

SH: Thanks! And thanks again!

BR: You really have a way with words!  

FE: Fire Emblem's idea was really nice too, I think.

OC: As they say, 'circumstances may justify a lie'.

Agnes: Well, not everything was a lie.

FE: Oh?

Agnes: Ahem. Back to work!

Bison: Ushi! Work awaits!

(by ZenithRV from pastebin)

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